Male Rules For Talking About Sex: An Excerpt from Masahiro Morioka’s “The Insensitive Man”

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The following is a translated excerpt from Masahiro Morioka’s book “The Insensitive Man.”
You can read the text online here: The Insensitive Man

THE INSENSITIVE MAN
Masahiro Morioka
University of Osaka Prefecture

This is my personal opinion, but isn’t it true that many men are vaguely aware of their own bodily insensitivity? If you hear the “dirty stories” of men you will easily understand what I am talking about. They proudly say things like, “Yesterday’s girl at such and such “soapland” (brothel) was excellent. She was so tight,” but interestingly, they rarely talk about the detailed bliss of their own ejaculation. This is the implicit rule for a dirty story. Although men are keen to talk in great detail about the functions of a woman’s body, there is no talk about the wonderful physical experience of one’s ejaculation. The description of the reports on the sex industry in magazines and newspapers for men is very similar to this as well. They often talk eloquently about sex workers’ physical bodies and their sexual techniques, as if they were afraid of something hidden coming to light. But, regarding the contents of the specific ejaculatory sensations of men, nothing has really been talked about.

Phrases like, “that girl was awesome,” or “her sex play was the best,” overflow in the reports. They look as if they were “spells” trying to confine some sort of devil. Here, “male frigidity” is the devil that must be confined. [39/40] Kazunori Taniguchi provides an illustration about the feelings that arise after purchasing sex: “I was injuring myself. My ejaculation was only an excretion. My existence felt nauseated (Sei o Kau Otoko [Men Who Buy Sex]. Pandora, 1997, p.24).” This is a really frank confession. I have not bought sex, but through Taniguchi’s words, I can sufficiently imagine what he is talking about.

I readily understand “male frigidity” because I myself suffer from it. I am sure that there are still many men who will assert that they do not suffer from “frigidity.” Of course, I don’t think that every man suffers from this frigidity. Still, I want to say that there has not been much talk about “male frigidity” until now.

In opposition to my argument, one may say that since men and women’s bodies are differently constructed, it is a foolish endeavor to simply compare them. Or, they may say, it is foolish to think that men suffer from frigidity simply because they can’t experience pleasure in the same way that women can. This counterargument might be right, but actually, for me, it is painful to experience the post-ejaculatory emptiness and the feeling of falling, which always follows the ejaculation. Since a man is honestly confessing and describing his own physical and mental pain, wouldn’t it be appropriate to consider it as a medical symptom in a broad sense? (However, I wish to note that I don’t mean that since this is a medical symptom it should be cured. I will discuss this further in Chapter 5)

I think it would be interesting and beneficial for men to frankly discuss their feelings of the ejaculation, their feelings after the ejaculation, and the influence these hold over their own sexuality. [40/41] They would be astonished to know that there are a variety of sexualities among them. At any rate, I wish to continue writing more about myself in this book. Even when talking about men in general, I will try to refrain from asserting, as much as possible, that men are such and such. I also intend to respect the sexuality of men who hold different sexual feelings from my own.

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